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10 Lesson I Learned in 2020

I think it's safe to say that 2020 was one of the wackiest years we’ve had in a long time.. 2020 was filled with uncertainty, loss, hurt, pain, expansion, growth and SO much more. It’s pretty easy to get caught up on all the tough things that we experienced during this year, But that will only take us so far. Actually, chances are if you're focusing on the hardship of 2020 you are finding more and more of it. Yep, that's the law of attraction for ya!

Instead let’s focus on the growth and the expansion that took place this year. Because even though many of us had tough years, it has also given us an amazing opportunity to shift our perspectives and move forward with the knowing that everything is happening for our greatest good.

Today I’m going to share the top 10 lessons that I learned in 2020. I’m sharing this in hopes that you will recognize the lessons that YOU have learned this year. These are lessons that help us sink into the gratitude and knowing that every single situation we are experiencing is happening FOR us. For us to grow, release, expand, and live our lives with the most divine alignment possible. I learned SO much during 2020, but here are the top 10 lessons that helped me evolve during this crazy year!

1. Life Doesn't Always go as Planned

I can confidently say that this is a lesson almost every single one of us learned this year. There are things, let's be honest there are SO many things, in our lives that are completely out of our control. Things may happen that we never saw coming, i.e. CoronaVirus, the shut down of many businesses, schools and community gatherings, or the nation wide shortage of toilet paper. I know this caused a lot of stress and uncertainty for so many people. I feel you, for a short period of time I let these uncertainties rattle my world too. Then I had a breakthrough. (Que the illuminated light bulb.)

With all this craziness I had a deep knowing that everything is happening for me, for us. Instead of panicking, this is an opportunity to embrace the situations we are in and roll with it. When I choose to look at the good in this situation I can clearly see how this is all a part of my path. I am given an opportunity to adapt and grow. I have the chance to learn new skills and fine tune talents that I already have. Yes life will not always go as planned but that's OK! As we release the need to control everything in our lives we are opening up for the magic of the unexpected.

Another realization that this lesson gave me was the fact that I can only control how I act/react to situations. I have no power over anyone else or their actions but I can control how I show up for me and for others. This was a pretty freeing breakthrough. Knowing that I have the choice and the ability to show up as the most loving kind human being that I can. And that is enough for me to feel secure in all the uncertainty. Now I openly lean into the things that were unexpected looking for the lesson and the chance to grow from these situations.

2. Release the Past to Move Forward

2020 was a big year for releasing old outdated programming for me. I felt like I was on a roller coaster for most of this year mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I’m sure you can relate, the collective consciousness of humanity felt like this all year too. In the ups and downs of this crazy year I was able to identify where I was currently running old programs and thought patters, trying to get a new result. This clearly doesn’t work! Albert Einstein actually defined this as insanity. “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result”.

This year I acknowledged so many old programs that were holding me captive. Realizing most of these programs came from childhood, expectations of my parents, religious indoctrinations, and social norms. I know i'm not the only one who was programmed from these places. Most likely you were too. Facing these old thought patterns is not always an easy process, It hurts. It requires us to dig into wounds that caused us a great deal of pain. Once I was able to identify these wounds, It gave me that chance to release it. I found this is an opportunity to feel, process and release any trauma that is still within me and replace it with an affirmation or a thought that will support my growth.

We must release these old programs that have been keeping us stuck in these cycles. This allows us to create space and recondition our minds with powerful thoughts and patterns that will facilitate growth and expansion. It's time to let that shit go!

3. Embrace ALL Emotions

I don't know where it came from exactly, but I know many of us were programmed to believe that certain emotions and feelings were not acceptable to feel. When we learned this we didn't’ just stop feeling these emotions, we are humans not computers! We can’t just delete emotions that we don’t want to experience. So what did we do? We began to suppress them. Push them deep down inside of us, thinking that if we don't see them then they won't appear in our lives. I think we all know that did work!

This year, instead of pushing my sadness, hurt or frustration down and trying to mask it with toxic positivity, I chose to embrace my feelings. Letting myself feel them in all their ugliness. I allowed myself to follow these feelings all the way to the core. Find where they originated from and why they are there. As I followed these emotions to the base I realized that the depth of sadness or anger or frustration wasn’t always what was currently going on in my life. It occurred to me that a lot of the intensity within these feelings were years of suppression.

As I gave myself permission to fully feel the spectrum of emotions I am able to sit with the pain, sadness or hurt and not let it consume me. I allow my body to feel it without my mind judging it. I allow my spirit and intentions to see and feel it without rationalizing. I just simply open myself up to be present with the emotions. This doesn't mean take action out of an emotional state but simple be with it. Sit with it. Get curious about it. Allow yourself to dig deeper into it. Maybe give it a color. Maybe write it all down in a journal or talk to a friend about it. As we investigate these emotions and find where they are coming from we are able to process and heal them in a healthy way.

Emotions are normal. Emotions can help us navigate through this world which is why they have been controlled and suppressed for so long. All emotions are beautiful and all emotions are okay to experience.

4. Give Love Freely

2020 has helped me realize that I can love freely. I can give away love to anyone and everyone with no attachments, no expectations of receiving it back. Allowing myself to love freely has helped me love myself more openly and fully. It has taught me that we are all one, we are all deeply connected. Giving unconditional love out to friends, family, and even complete strangers has facilitated a very important lesson for myself. As I am giving unconditional love out to others I am really choosing to give myself the same unconditional love.

This may be a simple lesson but I have been shocked with the immense change that it has made in my life in such a short period of time. I have realized that we are all looking to be loved, heard and understood. When I am giving that gift to others I am honoring my own self love as well. By connecting with others through this unconditional love I am able to recognize the divine being of light and love in everyone around me. Love is the foundation of any relationship no matter how big or how small. Showing love can be as simple as telling someone to have an amazing day, and meaning it!

5. I Can Only Create from Where I'm At (Within)

This is a lesson that I knew, but I had yet to apply it in its totality until this year. It also can be related back to #2. The lesson is that I can only create in this physical reality what my inner being is aligned with. Sounds simple i know, but let’s dive deeper into this. This comes back to the saying “as above, so below”. If we apply this to ourselves we can realize that our inner world affects our outer world. Oftentimes, okay almost every single time, when we feel like we are just having an off morning internally we run into more and more off situations as we progress throughout the day. Anyone else recognize that? This is also the law of attraction in full force.

Our inner world creates our outer world. If our inner dialog, thoughts and feelings are not aligned with what we are wanting to create it doesn’t matter how much effort we give it just not going to happen. For example, let's say you want to create more financial abundance in your life, but internally your dialog is coming from a place of lack or not enough. You can only create from where you are mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

When you align your inner dialogue with the divine knowing that: I am enough, I have enough, I always have what I need. It is significantly easier to create the life, the job, the abundance that you want. You can only create from where you are within. Be aware of what emotions are you feeling internally and what energy you are vibrating out into the world? Acknowledge that and it will give you insight on where you are or have been creating from. Connect and sink deeply into good feeling thoughts, emotions, and affirmations. From there you will watch your internal state evolve and then your external state will quickly follow.

6. I Don’t Need to Change People

This was a hard lesson for me to learn. As a coach, and personal trainer I feel a lot of responsibility to help my clients make positive changes. This year I had to take a step back and realize that it’s not my responsibility to change other people, that's their responsibility. My job is to provide all the tools, knowledge and encouragement they need to make their own informed choices. If I am providing everything I can for my client and they choose not to participate or implement any of my guidance, that is not on me. Knowing that I showed up as my best and provided them with everything that I can, is enough. It is not my job to make people change that is ultimately their choice.

If you're a coach, trainer or anyone who is in the people business I'm sure this is a lesson that you have or will learn. Just like that popular quote says “you can lead your horse to the water, but you can’t make them drink”. The same is true for people! But this also provides me with an opportunity for me to practice lesson #4 to its fullest. I can show unconditional love to everyone whether they are ready to make the changes or not.

7. Be Present

This year I learned that one of the most important things I can do in my life is be here in the present moment. This moment right here is where I have my power, and where you have yours. At this moment I am making choices that will either hinder my growth OR facilitate expansion. At this moment the choice is mine and only mine. Right now I can choose to connect OR disconnect with someone depending on what will serve me best. This moment right here is the most important moment of all.

Learning this was a gift that set me free from the past as I mentioned above. But it also helped me release an anxiety that I was creating around the unknown future. As we are present and utilize this moment to connect, create and choose then we are actively constructing the future we want by taking intentional action right now! This present moment is all we have. Learning to sink into it instead of trying to run away from it is the key. Embracing what is happening in this moment and choosing how we react to it is an opportunity to learn and understand more. There's nowhere to run to, all we have I now.

This also wraps back around to lesson #3. Lean into the present moment when you are feeling emotions. Lean into the feeling. How does it feel inside the body? How does it feel inside your mind? Learning to be present with what you are feeling will help you navigate these emotions with much more grace and clarity.

8. Allow Myself to Grow Without Rushing

Rushing is a great way to disconnect from the present moment. I've realized that i have spent a significant portion of my life rushing from one thing to the next trying to “hurry up” and learn or do everything I need to. Never fully embracing the present moment. Never fully feeling into the phase of life I was in. I was always wanting to be in the next step.

This year taught me that I am always growing but I don't have to rush around trying to learn everything. I have come to the acceptance that I will never learn everything. There’s too much out there for my human brain to conceive, let alone learn. I also understand now that I know everything that I need to in this moment. So much of the info I was trying to learn on the outside was within me the whole time. For example, If we are searching the outside world for guidance on our next step in life, chances are we'll only know what others would do for their next step in life. This is going to be different from your next step, so is this information necessary to ingest? Most likely no, most likely this will just confuse you and muddy the water.

Some things we are not able to learn from the outside, oftentimes what we seek is the knowing that we have within. This comes from taking time with myself, processing and understanding myself. Creating stillness and allowing my inner knowing to teach me what I am wanting to learn. I now KNOW that I have to slow down to speed up. I know now that when I am searching for something the best thing I can do for myself is create stillness within and space for my intuition to speak to me.

9. Take Care of Yourself

This year I learned that the longest relationship I am going to have on this planet is the relationship I have with myself. I realized that I am the only one who is going to work toward my dreams and make them into a reality. I am the only one who can do my inner work and release the things that I've been holding on to. No one can do the work for me. I need to cultivate a beautiful relationship with myself so that I can do what I am on this planet to do. Each one of us is here for a reason, each one of us has the responsibility to care for ourselves and do our own inner work.

I am the only one who can give myself enough self care and love to feel whole. Yes you will receive love and care from the outside. But to really feel what others are giving to you, you are required to cultivate that care and self love within yourself first. When we look for care or love from an outside source it is never enough to satisfy our internal needs. This builds off of #5. I function and operate the best when I am fully engaging in my own self care and self love practices. This allows me to create from the most pure and stable place of love and gratitude. Deepening my connection with myself facilitates my understanding of what I am here on this earth to do and how I can accomplish it with ease and grace. Self love and care is the basis of creating the life that we want.

10. Its Okay to Ask for Help

This has been one of the hardest lessons for me to learn, as I have been extremely independent to a default at times. Asking for help has been difficult for me in the past. I believed that I was weak to ask for help, and that I should be able to do this all on my own. I realized this old thought process was holding captive. It was disconnecting me from those who love me. More importantly it was blocking me from being vulnerable and knowing when I should reach out. This year I was able to release those old programs. I am fully embracing the fact that it's okay for me to ask for help. In fact, it's a beautiful act of self awareness and knowing where i'm at and where I could use some assistance.

Asking for help is a humbling experience for me. It has taught me that there are people who care about me. Reaching out has allowed me to deepen my relationship with the people I love and care for. I know now that I don't have to do it all on my own. I have a beautiful family and community of people who are there to support and inspire me, all I have to do is reach out my hand and ask.

If you feel like you are lacking the support or connection you need, please don't hesitate to reach out. You are not in this alone. There is a reason there are other people here in the world, and more importantly there is a reason why you are surrounded by the people you are! We are all here to learn, grow and expand. Allow yourself to ask for help. It may be the best thing you could do for yourself.

These are the top 10 lessons I learned in 2020. I hope these lessons helped you realize what you learned this year. Or maybe they will give you guidance in areas that you may want to expand. This year was the most expansive and tough year all at the same time. I hope that you are able to look back at 2020 and recognize all the things that you learned and worked through this year.

Take time to give yourself some credit for how far you’ve come. If you are in a space where you can't find the good from 2020. This is a beautiful opportunity for you to check in with yourself and consciously create the life that you want in 2021. This life is just a little too special to let go by without actively participating in it. I hope that you see the immense value in yourself and the significant role you play here on earth. Let’s make 2021 the best year yet!

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